You may be thinking “WTH, how can this be a transformation. You went from lean to not lean. Shouldn’t it be the other way around?”. My answer to this is: my Transformation has been the most successful and rewarding one I have experienced in the last 27 years. Bear with me! Keep reading.
On the Left I was the leanest I have ever been. At 46 yrs old people found this impressive. They spoke of dedication, determination, willpower etc. All the things that go along with being in prep.
On the right, is almost a year and half later. People may call this soft, normal or average physique. Not worthy of being in a fitness magazine and now a days not industry standard for even being healthy. Nuts right?
Industry standard is now women lean and skinny. Now don’t get me wrong, I think muscular women are amazing and applaud their dedication. As long as you are doing it healthy! BUT the media is telling women and young girls they need to be skinny and lean to be considered healthy and beautiful.
When in all honesty it is far from the truth!
On the left, as lean as I am, I WAS MISERABLE! I remember taking this pic. Now when I look at it I think wow I did that! But then I was so upset thinking I didn’t look good enough. I wasn’t happy, I was tired, not sleeping, took me doing a very restrictive diet to get lean (more restrictive then normal because my adrenals were shot) and I was stressed to the max, actually I wasn’t able to manage my stress well causing further damage to my adrenals. I was binge eating and emotional eating.
I knew before I did Nationals I was done competing. I cried for days and felt like I was breaking up with someone. My first thought was “OMG I am going to get fat!” I hate even admitting that because it sounds nuts but it is true. I was scared as hell to let go of something I did for 11 years that kept me having a crazy looking physique.
I loved competing. Competing didn’t fully screw up my adrenals. Competing during moments in my life of extreme stress and constantly dieting off and on without breaks did it to me. No one made me compete. No one forced me to diet. I did it to me. I still follow and support others who compete and just hope they take care of themselves better than I did.
In August of last year coming off Nationals where I did very well for my first time at that level, I was at my worse. For years I suffered with extreme fatigue. Off and on with lack of mental focus, poor sleeping patterns, muscle weakness, extreme joint pain, poor digestion and bloating, hormones so bad I would have a period for 14 days and cramps so bad I had to use prescription pain killers. I also had problems losing weight if I wasn’t on a strict diet. I suffered with ovarian cysts that were out of control. The pain and symptoms from that alone was tiresome.
Part of my problem was just not listening to my body. I refused to believe I got myself to this point being a Health and fitness professional. I should know better. But I am human and in all honesty it isn’t easy being a 40 something women in an industry that body shames when you don’t look at certain way. (you can get mad if you want but it is true!).
After doing some major changes in my life. Going through some trauma and not wanting to feel like shit for the rest of my life, I sat down and did some deep soul searching. I needed to get myself out of this and knew I was so far gone that I needed to see a specialist. So I did. Found out my DHEA tanked. Progesterone, test and GH low. And even though I was 47, it was still Way lower than it should be. The specialist was surprised I was able to function. I was definitely barely surviving and far from thriving.
I had to take some hormones to fix up the mess and at the same time supported it naturally. I stopped dieting, had to cut back on workouts and had to learn to manage stress better. This was a long damn haul! I needed to eat and did. But I did eat healthy and did everything I could do help with my hormones and repair my adrenals. I did one round of hormones and weened myself off. I continued supporting my body naturally.
I had to be ok with gaining weight. I had to be ok with slowing down and had to make some big changes in order to support a healthy lifestyle. It wasn’t easy to let myself do this. I haven’t followed a meal plan since July 2017. I workout half of what I did.
With the steps I used to cure my body I put together THE INSPIRED METHOD. I discovered my biggest problem was I just wasn’t inspired. I was surrounded by successful people, fit people etc but I realized that external inspiration only takes you so far. I had to become inspired from within.
I started cooking more and being mindful with food. I started doing things I loved to do like boxing and walking. More Full-body workouts and HIIT. Boxing is my cardio and may do one session a week on the Stepmill because it can be therapeutic to me.
By not dieting, creating amazing gut health, working out less but smarter, and managing stress I was able to have the following:
more energy. Like 10 times the amount I had. No joke!
balanced hormones. Now have normal periods and less PMS
Improved digestion (which did help with hormones, neurotransmitters like seratonin for better sleep etc.)
very little aches and pains. (let’s face it, at almost 50 I am going to a have some!)
better mental clarity
Sleep like a champ. (now I get tired if I don’t get enough sleep, but this is due to deadlines or projects that need to get done. When I am sleeping it is quality. I wake up and get what I need done with energy!)
I created a program that encourages INSPIRED eating, movement and mindset. Everything I did for myself. Why? Because I now wake up happy. Excited for what life has in store for me. I have so much energy I feel productive and alive! I embrace my shape and stopped criticizing myself in the mirror. But the main point is I AM HAPPY & FULL OF ENERGY!
Bottom line is, I follow a feeling not a look. I eat balanced, taught myself how to eat again. Yes most of us do need to learn how to eat again. We know what to eat, meaning we know what is healthy but that doesn’t mean much. We need to learn mindfulness, tap into our intuition. We need to learn about the how, where, when, who and why with our relationship to food. Learn about meal timing and I don’t mean just when to eat carbs. We need to learn about common sense portioning and how to put meals together for energy and a healthy body composition. I don’t cut out things. I balance them. This is what cured me.
Most importantly I set a solid why. It wasn’t I want to lose weight. It was how do I want to be in 10 years and 20 years? Where do I want to be and what am I doing? How do I want to feel? I connect myself to that. I connect myself to that feeling. Then I broke it down. How do I get this feeling? And how do I maintain it so when I am 70 I feel and look 15 years younger?
My Transformation is incredible because I never thought I could feel this good again. I never thought I could love what I see in the mirror without a six pack. But I do. At the beginning of this blog I mentioned dedication, determination and willpower. I use it more now then I did in prep! Learning how to eat with out a diet or meal plan takes self-control and a dedication to good health! Not easy. I also put all that into my new goals! It may not be for a six pack but I am more excited about my goals then ever before!
My passion is now helping other women do the same. I don’t sell weight-loss. I find it misleading and pointless. Because if you don’t start finding that feeling and internal inspiration you will not maintain or never get to your goal! You need to create habit change that sticks so you have a lifestyle not deadlines.
I sell happiness, energy, Harmony and ageless living. Which in turn with patience, will get the outcomes you desire. I would much rather be happy, full of energy and productive in my life with Harmony then miserable and unhealthy (this could go either way!) Remember leanness isn’t an indicator of health! You can be lean and be unhealthy with unhealthy habits.
You can have every thing you want. You just need support, accountability and a system that is just for you! I want all women to see and share their greatness with the world. Embracing their uniqueness and in turn giving other women hope of Ageless, happy living!
Big reason I started having a better relationship with food is using my Inspired Meal method that is a part of my program THE INSPIRED METHOD. If you want to get a glimpse of inspired eating click on the image and get a FREE copy of my e-book The Inspired Meal.
Click here to book a FREE call with me! Let’s chop it up and see what is holding you back!
I hope you all one day see Transformation as more than a look. See every stepping stone towards good health an accomplishment and acknowledge the greatness in that!
To your health,
Carmen Shawn